- Is life for you a roller-coaster of emotions;
- do you live from one drama to another;
- how well do you manage and express your emotions?
With an emphasis on thinking clearly and belief systems tending to teach us not to feel this way or that, many of us find it tricky to understand and be clear about our emotions and why we feel as we do.
Not being clear about how we feel at an emotional level may have us say that we feel upset or overwhelmed, rather than say that we actually feel … anxious, frustrated, disappointed, whatever….
Internal awareness of our emotions is however crucial when it comes to enjoying happy, healthy relationships, and living our purpose. If we’re not aware when we’re angry, how can we control our anger, how can we have empathy for another’s anger, how can we handle conflict?
When something is up, most of us instinctively look for solutions. Rather than try to fix any ‘negative’ emotion, it helps to see our feelings simply as energy, to name the feeling (sad, angry, guilty, ashamed etc), acknowledge it, accept it is what is. We can then look to understand what triggers the feeling, discover any pattern – then learn to pause, breathe and choose how to respond rather than react when it pops up next time round. We can’t change or let go of something unless we understand what it is.
Often when we behave in ways we wish we hadn’t, it’s because unconsciously we want to avoid some uncomfortable feeling. So, for example, if we want to avoid feeling helpless, we may behave in a way that has us feel in control yet rides rough-shot over others. Feeling that one feeling that you want to avoid, can however offer you a wonderful gift – the gift of seeing how your past filters are affecting your life today