Be yourself, feel and express what you feel….something we hear.
What if you no longer feel? What if… in order to feel secure ….you’ve made a vow never to get hurt again, you’ve told yourself you’re on your own now, you need to look after yourself because someone else didn’t? You don’t allow yourself to care enough so you won’t get hurt. You can’t allow yourself to be seen to crack. You can’t be vulnerable even to yourself…and so you pretend, yet underneath you are frozen.
When you see the impact on your relationships, wake up to the fact that you feel lonely, things are really not working and you want to change, when you decide you’re not going to run away, you’re willing to dig in even though it may be messy, you can choose whether to be happy or miserable…. then….
You can start with little things. Make some time for exercise, move your body; do some of the things you loved to do as a child; have some pampering to bring some softness into your life; create a feelings journal …and if you don’t know how you feel, just write…and get a list of feelings to help you identify. Soon your vocabulary will expand. Your goal is to be able to identify, understand and accept all the subtleties and refinements of your feelings…and not judge them. For example, if you’re angry, are you irritated, frustrated, resentful, or are you feeling rage…something else? And if you were not feeling angry, how would you like to feel instead?