Do you have a longing to belong?
Do you just want to be loved…accepted…heard..understood?
Do you feel something is missing in life?
When we grow up in a loving family, a feeling of love, acceptance and belonging can grow in our heart, and we don’t need others to feel complete. Most of us however don’t have that experience as a child, and, as a consequence, as adults we may feel a need to belong that can stem from a fear of being alone or being unloved.
Often when we look at what motivates our behaviour, what we discover is an unmet emotional need. It can drive every area of our life! For example, if we tend to be a people pleaser, our concern about the way people think about us can fuel the way behave in our relationships and in the workplace. – we fear being rejected so we look to get approval from others. Our behavioural pattern is reflected in the energy of a specific archetype.
Underneath, the child who was hurt is crying for what was missing – the wounded child. Our work as an adult is to let go of the pain and neediness. The neediness shows us the pain and grief experienced as a child for us to accept with compassion and understanding, and then take 100% personal responsibility for fulfilling. Not our partner, our spouse, our children, our parents, our friends.
What is your core unmet need?
Identifying it can be a pathway to transformation. We can put our past into perspective, see where fear still lives within us, and look to meet our need from within. So, for example, if we say ‘I just want to be loved’, we may try to get that need met through making ourselves needed by others, or, we can choose to love ourself. When we do this, we can relax and be ourself. The less tension we feel from looking to get our needs met, the more energy we can give to living our potential!
Of course, we can get a sense of belonging from family, friends, our tribe. The more we connect to our soul, the greater our sense of true belonging becomes.
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