Change in relationships

D’you struggle with relationships?

D’you have great relationships with some and not with others?

D’you ever give any attention to your relationship with yourself?

People come into our lives for a reason, sometimes it’s for a season, sometimes it’s for a lifetime. The opportunity is to learn and grow. For many of us, our greatest growth comes from our relationships. Sometimes the process is painful through events that occur and impact our relationships… or simply through the fact that people change.

We learn more about our self from the ending of a relationship than about our partner, and through it we can learn to thrive.

When a relationship ends unexpectedly, if it’s not what we want, it’s natural to focus on how to fix it. We can torment ourself wondering what is happening with the other – is there an issue at work, are they going through a midlife crisis….We analyse, perhaps blame, we worry, we stress. Most times we are in denial when it comes to our own role.

At some stage, looking back, what we realise is that we didn’t notice that our relationship was changing. We didn’t give it our attention, we didn’t manage our differences or any negative feelings that arose. Often we find that we, our self, changed so much that we no longer are the person our partner met and fell in love with.

When it happened to me, relocating to a new country with no role to play, I learned that in order to be loved I became the women I thought I should be, the women who fitted my husband’s status in life. It was not who I am.

The key to any relationship is to be our self and manage differences. And, to be our self, we need to love our self.

You can change yourself with what you learn, you will not change your partner. If you want to change your life, it begins with you – within you.

How can you cultivate a relationship with yourself – a supportive, empowering, loving relationship? How can you cultivate a relationship with the diamond within your heart, that part of you that is your true, unlimited self ?

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