We’ve talked about managing difference in our relationships and whether our pattern is to judge or blame, to dominate, or perhaps keep silent. Many clients I find are uncomfortable dealing with conflict. Practically what can we do that can help create more peaceful, harmonious relationships?
- Connect to your heart and express your feelings clearly, taking responsibility for what you feel. Simply share how you feel, don’t talk about what you think the other is doing wrong. Speak in a way that is kind to yourself and the other.
- Listen actively, and respect the feelings of the other so they feel understood. Don’t judge.
- Explore any resistance by asking questions to get to the bottom of what the issue is really all about. Understand it within you.
- Have your finger on your emotional pulse, and, whenever you feel emotional ask why, and, what you want to do about it. Know what tweaks your buttons so that you can change any reaction into response.
- If the other is being emotional, ask them what lies behind it and what do they want to do about it.
- If you’re upset, remember you are being set up to learn something. No taking things personally, focus on the energy itself.
- Ask what is the opportunity that lies within the conflict, and get creative. Let go of being right or perfect. How can you find a solution that works for you both, that is fun, joyful?
- And, as my mentor recently suggested, if you can’t agree, agree that you win this time, the other the next! Have a laugh, be light-hearted.
Choose one to get started!
Our beliefs and perspectives unconsciously influence who we are, so it’s good to take a look at our family dynamics to uncover any pattern. This is something we explore in our Archetypes Mentoring programme. Contact me to have chat about working together and see if we are a good fit. We live in challenging times; we can make a difference by bringing calming energy to those we meet.