It’s not unusual to find it challenging to say what we really think and feel if somewhere within us a there’s a lack of security. Often this comes from childhood conditioning, how we’re cut or shaped if you like, and it can be deep. It’s there to teach us something, and when we can see it as a gift, rather than judge our self or blame our past, we can set an intent and do something to move beyond it.
So, if you struggle to express yourself fully, it’s good to look at what you learned as a child about speaking up. What messages were you given…was it ok to say what you thought and how you felt, to disagree? Was there any particular moment when you did say what you thought or felt and you were laughed at, told not to be stupid, or perhaps hit? What impact has that had?
D’you ever feel that you don’t know who you are any more? If that’s the case, then its simply a case of finding yourself!
The thing is…if we’re not real, if we can’t trust ourself to share how we think and feel, to open up to others, we can never enjoy true intimacy, or collaborate with others.
We can change the pattern. We can stop playing safe, worrying about looking good, and accept that not everyone will agree with us … and be ok with that. Using our voice doesn’t have to be negative, it can be positive and supportive.
The gift of acceptance (ourself, others, our past) …we learn to listen to and speak from our heart and find a way to say what we want to say.